Interview with Michele Paiva, author of “Truth, Next Exit”
Our guest today is Michele Paiva, author of the spiritual self-help book, Truth, Next Exit. After a successful career as a television news reporter, writer and anchor, and previously, as a television choreographer, Paiva concurrently owned a performing arts and yoga therapy studio for almost two decades to satisfy her creative kinetic spirit and love of the arts and wellness. During this time, she refined her research skills, calling upon skills from her print journalism days, and embarked upon a new journey of exploring science and law more deeply. In addition, her decades of work in health and wellness; from myoskeletal therapy to yoga therapy and medical research and writing; she has been a writer of countless articles and several books on the topics of wellness that is attainable for every body. Spirituality is central to Paiva’s life and she has enjoyed bringing this aspect to her work life as well. The experience of working as a national legal advocate and seeing firsthand the damage of federally funded program abuse expedited her focus on educational advocacy writing and outreach. This catapulted into developing learning methods for gifted and twice-exceptional students as well as developing a national online coop to serve a niche that has been wildly ignored. Although law and justice has been an integral aspect of Paiva’s professional focus through writing and research, another area of specialization includes science; delving into biology, chemistry and health and wellness; with an added focus on advocacy in these realms. Always looking to problem solve and help others in their ventures, Paiva is always researching, and always networking with others to get their messages out; there is power in one but more power in many. www.michelepaiva.com is Paiva’s site and she is always interested in hearing from others. She also has a blog, Musings, and welcomes visitors to leave a comment and interact. One motto Paiva lives by, which was a basic foundation instilled by her parents, is to never limit challenges but challenge your limits and to strive to leave no opportunity wasted. Paiva feels that life is about being the best you can, without hurting anyone (including yourself) along the way, to learn to love, be loved and to forgive. ) What was the one possession you had that you were miserable without? What cartoon did you love to watch?
Bugs Bunny! I loved the episode when Bugs is giving the monster a manicure. I also loved Wile E. Coyote because he was tenacious in spite of being driven by the wrong focus. They both had spunk and brains!
What do you miss most about being a kid?
I miss being spoiled! I miss someone else tying my shoes, combing my hair and making me meals!
What was your least favorite age? Why?
When I was nine, that would be the closest thing to “least favorite” because we moved but it was also exciting with new changes. So, it was bittersweet in that there were both obstacles and opportunities. I’m hopelessly optimistic and always have been so I can’t say it was my least favorite just my most memorable.
What did you always want to be able to do, but were too young?
Be the big sister. I was always the youngest!
What did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be “everything” and writing helps me to do that. I wanted to be a doctor, scientist, lawyer, painter, dancer, you name it. So, my creative world that I’ve developed has helped me to not only work on air, own a yoga studio, be a choreographer and news anchor, but writing opens the door to every world you can imagine. You can interview so many interesting people and experience a bit of their lives in a way that otherwise would not be possible.
Did you have any pets? If so, what did you have?
My parents had a farmette; so I had everything from sheep to ducks to dogs and cats, and everything in between. Behind our home or “land” was another farm of sort, and the man had race horses. I grew up with nature and pets around me all the time.
Do you have siblings? Did they influence who you are today?
I have three incredible siblings. Karen, Robert and Joseph. They are all intelligent, creative people with amazing senses of humor. They are older than me; 10, 13 and 15 years my senior and in that respect, they were all role models to me. They influenced me in a way that others I feel missed out on because I was able to have siblings to look up to who were already caving their way in the world and was able to see how they raised their families and so on. I consider their spouses to be my siblings as well, and my nieces and nephews are incredible people as well. Of course I’m biased, but I have the best family. Just sayin’.
What was your favorite class in school?
I didn’t have a favorite class. I had a love/hate with all of school. I had an undiagnosed learning disability and had some other gifts as well that sort of went by the wayside. Thus, in a way, the entire experience made me much better apt to create a path for others so that they would not suffer as I did or how many youth fall through the cracks in the past and present. In whole though, as far as topics of learning; I loved it all. I did a lot on my own from science to creative arts and found something incredible in every course of learning.
Who was your hero and why?
This is a tough question. My parents, siblings and all relatives, friends and peers (even many strangers) were hero’s in their own right to me at some point, with many, many examples available from either first hand exemplified or through observation. I simply can’t weigh who has been more of a hero as every instance has shown moral examples. Virtues can’t be weighed. “Hero” is a tough word; I tend to over think but the word has several meanings depending upon time and usage. In whole is can be bravery or achievement or moral value. I just know too many people that fit that role to single out any one particular!
What games did you enjoy playing in your spare time? Would you still play them today?
I loved outdoor games and made up variations of tag often with friends. I enjoyed exploring and spent a lot of time on my own. We had board games and played cards also as a family which was enjoyable. I pretty much haven’t changed; I still play games with my family and friends, like to work out (the adult version of playing tag perhaps?) and enjoy games of strategy and skill.
Did you have a curfew? What was it, and did you break it?
I know I had curfews but don’t recall exact times. I am positive it was before midnight. I never broke a curfew; never felt the need to.
What was your parents punishment of choice?
Guilt!
What is your favorite memory?
Watching sitcoms like “The Brady Bunch”, “I Dream of Jeannie” and “Gilligan’s Island” while eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with my brother Joe, waiting for the rest of the family to come home for the dinner that my mother was cooking in the next room.15. What do you wish you could have changed about your childhood (if anything)? I wish I kept a diary more often to see myself through my child-eyes rather than as an adult with memories. Also, my sister saying “Peter Piper” to me and making me laugh, and my brother Bob and his now wife Kathy, getting me a leather bound book when I was maybe, six or seven, that I still have. Each episode is special in it’s own way.
What would you change about your childhood?
I’d only wish I would have kept a diary so that I could see myself now, through more child-eyes rather than a memory from an adult perspective.
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Interview with Gina Browning, author of Moonbeam Dreams
About Gina Browning
Writer and illustrator, Gina C. Browning, says some of the verses in her poetry book first came to her in her dreams as she was recovering from surgery years ago.
The poems and illustrations in Moonbeam Dreams gradually evolved into “a keenly rhymed, fantastical romp through a fantasy land, with weird and wonderful characters for readers of any age to enjoy.” Her poetry truly is for the young at heart.
Browning thinks her dreams are fun and adventurous, as she always looks for the positive side to everything. Her book encourages children not to be afraid of the dark, and to believe in themselves and their abilities so that almost anything is possible. Browning says dreams can come true “either in daylight or night” if you believe in them strongly enough.
You can visit Gina online @ http://www.eloquentbooks.com/MoonbeamDreams.html
The Interview
What was the one possession you had that you were miserable without?
I don’t recall being miserable without any one particular possession. I was a pretty secure and happy kid. But I would have been miserable if I hadn’t had a creative outlet of some sort, like ceramics, drawing, painting, jewelry making, or writing poetry. I would also have been miserable without my many pets.
What cartoon did you love to watch?
Tom and Jerry, and all the Warner Brothers cartoons, all the Disney animated movies, etc.
What do you miss most about being a kid?
Being able to play and not having to worry about work or paying bills.
What was your least favorite age? Why?
8 years old. I had a 3rd grade teacher who seemed to intensely dislike me.
What did you always want to be able to do, but were too young?
Make jewelry.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
A jeweler.
Did you have any pets? If so, what did you have?
We had quite a menagerie! (The numbers changed from time to time.) We had a dog, a cat or two, chickens, ducks, a goose, rabbits, snakes, mice, hamsters, gerbils, fish, a raccoon (for a short period) and a Red-tailed Hawk.
Do you have siblings? Did they influence who you are today?
Yes, I have an older sister, a younger sister, and an older brother. No, I was pretty independent and stubborn as a kid, and always knew what I wanted to do. No one could sway me from my choices, even if they were wrong. However, since becoming adults, I reckon my sisters have influenced me in many subtle ways, even today. But my brother isn’t very good at emailing or calling, so I’d have to say that I’ve been influenced by him the least.
What was your favorite class in school?
Actually, at this point, one might expect me to answer, “Art”. And although it was a regular favorite, during my last semester in college I took a genetics class, as an elective. It was so difficult and intense, but so completely fascinating, that I studied because I wanted to. I actually declined friends’ invitations to go out, in favor of reading the assigned chapters and studying constantly. I’m sure I was a total “party pooper”. But it was so interesting and, yes, I made an ‘A’ in the class! If I ever go back to college for want of some kind of mental stimulation, I will most assuredly take more classes in genetics!
Who was your hero and why?
I loved Superman, because he was always helping or rescuing others, and because he was just an ordinary guy otherwise. Plus, I’d love to be able to fly!
What games did you enjoy playing in your spare time? Would you still play them today?
Hop-scotch, jump rope, Chinese jump rope. Monopoly, Clue, Mouse-trap. I’m not into “Jumping up and down” anymore, but the other games would still be fun for me.
Did you have a curfew? What was it, and did you break it?
When I was very young, I was supposed to be home by dark. As I got older the curfew was extended to 10:00 (on weekend nights), and eventually it was extended to 12:00. I never broke it, except for one time, accidentally. I was on a double date and none of us had a watch. (I was in deep trouble for a while, until my mother finally believed my story.)
What was your parents’ punishment of choice?
Sometimes we were spanked, but as I got older ‘grounding’ was a pretty good punishment; and very effective. It was MUCH more effective on me than it seems to be with my own kids.
What is your favorite memory?
As an adult I have other favorite memories, but from my childhood my favorite memory is when I built an incubator out of a large soap detergent box, (with a light bulb), and 21 days later hatched a gosling from an egg that I had found. We had her for 8 years, and my father, who was usually pretty sick of our whole menagerie, would go out to see her and give her a neck scratch every morning before he went to work.
What do you wish you could have changed about your childhood (if anything)?
I was a pretty happy and secure kid and I had 2 loving and supportive parents, but I guess I would have liked them to have been more demonstrative of their love, and for my father to be less of an introvert and to feel less stressed and cranky all the time. In turn, I think that would have made me more demonstrative now, and also less stressed and cranky. My outer disposition, when I’m tired (around my kids) is very similar to my father’s.
About Moonbeam Dreams
Moonbeam Dreams is an intricately rhyming bed-time story written and illustrated by Gina C. Browning. It takes the reader and listeners on a magical, Dr. Seuss-like romp to the Land of Beddie-byes, where they meet all sorts of wonderful and interesting creatures. There are butterflies with gems dripping from their wings, dragons riding in red wagons, Lycra-wearing newts skating on moonbeams, unicorns, a frog climbing a kite-string, extra large snails and cats with fish-tails, and many, many more fun creatures to meet. It’s a positive, up-lifting and fun story that encourages children that almost anything is possible if you can dream it and believe in it strongly enough. It also encourages children to not be afraid of the dark, and that they have the ability to take control of their dreams. It also encourages children to welcome the weird and wonderful things that they might see in their dreams.
It is a story with a vocabulary that a child can learn from and grow into. It is also entertaining and interesting for adults to read as well.
It contains some interesting rhyming mechanics, alliteration and 22 bright and colorful, entertaining illustrations.
Book Excerpt
“I once spied way up high a bright butterfly
looking lustrous from even that height.
It was covered in gems that dripped from the hems
of its wings- then they’d brightly ignite.
The ‘fly gave a quiver, then off with a shiver
flew all around, much like a sprite.
It flew down to my finger where there it did linger,
and then at last, did alight.”
Read what reviewers are saying about Moonbeam Dreams!
“Be swept away into a magical, lyrical fantasy land where all your dreams can come true…Moonbeam Dreams will captivate young readers and keep them turning the pages…” -The Children’s and Teens’ Book Connection
“Moonbeam Dreams is such a positive and wonderful book for children and people of all ages…It is sure to bring continuous smiles for years to come!” – Café of Dreams
“If your child likes to dream and take fantasy journeys then this would be an excellent book for them to get their hands on.” – 4 the Love of Books
Interview with Pamela Samuels Young, author of “Buying Time”
About Pamela Samuels Young
Corporate attorney Pamela Samuels Young has always abided by the philosophy that you create the change you want to see. Fed up with never seeing women or people of color depicted as savvy, hot shot attorneys in the legal thrillers she read, Pamela decided to create her own characters. Despite the demands of a busy legal career, Pamela accomplished her ambitious goal by rising at four in the morning to write before work, dedicating her weekends to writing and even spending her vacation time glued to her laptop for ten or more hours a day.
The Essence magazine bestselling author now has four fast-paced legal thrillers to show for her efforts: Every Reasonable Doubt (BET Books, February 2006), In Firm Pursuit (Harlequin, January 2007), Murder on the Down Low (Goldman House Publishing, September 2008) and Buying Time (Goldman House Publishing, November 2009). New York Times bestselling author Sheldon Siegel described Buying Time, Pamela’s first stand-alone novel, as a “deftly plotted thriller that combines the best of Lisa Scottoline and Robert Crais.”
Pamela has achieved a successful writing career while working as Managing Counsel for Labor and Employment Law for a large corporation in Southern California. Prior to that, she served as Employment Law Counsel for Raytheon Company and spent several years with the law firm of O’Melveny & Myers, LLP in Los Angeles. A former journalist, Pamela began her broadcasting career as a production assistant at WXYZ-TV in Detroit, where she was quickly promoted to news writer. To escape the chilly Detroit winters, she returned home to Los Angeles and worked at KCBS-TV as a news writer and associate producer.
Pamela has a bachelor’s degree in journalism from USC, a master’s degree in broadcasting from Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism and received her law degree from UC Berkeley’s Boalt Hall School of Law. She currently serves on the Board of Directors of the Southern California Chapter of Mystery Writers of America and is the Fiction Expert for BizyMoms.com.
Pamela is a frequent speaker on the topics of discrimination law, diversity, writing and pursuing your passion. She is married and lives in the Los Angeles area. To contact Pamela or to read an excerpt of her books, visit www.pamelasamuelsyoung.com.
My Childhood
What was the one possession you had that you were miserable without?
A good book. As a kid, I constantly had my nose buried in a book.
What cartoon did you love to watch?
The Flintstones. Fred was always getting himself into some terrible fixes.
What do you miss most about being a kid?
Going to school being my only real job. I love learning and would be a permanent student if it could pay the mortgage.
What was your least favorite age? Why?
My middle school years. I was a pretty awkward teenager. I’m still traumatized by my first junior high school dance because my dancing skills sucked.
What did you always want to be able to do, but were too young?
I wanted to drive way before my time, even though I had no place to go.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be a journalist in the Woodward and Bernstein mold. Somewhere along the way, I transitioned from print journalism to broadcast journalism and was a television news writer for several years before becoming a lawyer and mystery writer. In retrospect, abandoning print journalism was probably a wise move considering the state of the newspaper business today.
Did you have any pets? If so, what did you have?
Goldfish, which I constantly killed by overfeeding them.
Do you have siblings? Did they influence who you are today?
I have two brothers, one five years older and one five years younger. I’m told that middle children tend to be creative and loners. Perfect traits for a mystery writer! So I guess I have my brothers, in part, to thank for that.
What was your favorite class in school?
Journalism. I loved interviewing people, as well as researching and writing news stories and features. It was such a kick to see a story on the front page of the school newspaper with my byline on it.
Who was your hero and why?
I was never much of a hero worshipper. Can’t say I really had a hero. Because I was such an avid reader, I really admired writers like Maya Angelou, James Baldwin and Richard Wright.
What games did you enjoy playing in your spare time? Would you still play them today?
I sucked at sports, but was a pretty good Scrabble player. I still love playing it today.
Did you have a curfew? What was it, and did you break it?
I never had a curfew because I never went anywhere! I was usually in my bedroom with my nose deep in a book.
What was your parents’ punishment of choice?
My parents will attest that I was a model kid. I remember one or two spanks when I was pretty young, but beyond that, nothing.
What is your favorite memory?
One of my favorite memories was the day I received my acceptance letter to the University of Southern California. I really, really, really wanted to be a Trojan!
What do you wish you could have changed about your childhood (if anything)?
I wish I didn’t have two left feet so I could’ve been a cheerleader.
About Buying Time
Buying Time by Pamela Samuels Young (click on cover to purchase)
Buying Time is a scandalous tale of blackmail, murder and betrayal, evoking John Grisham with a dash of Terry McMillan.
Waverly Sloan is a down-on-his-luck lawyer. But just when he’s about to hit rock bottom, he stumbles upon a business with the potential to solve all of his problems.
In Waverly’s new line of work, he comes to the aid of people in desperate need of cash. But there’s a catch. His clients must be terminally ill and willing to sign over rights to their life insurance policies before they can collect a dime. Waverly then finds investors eager to advance them thousands of dollars—including a hefty broker’s fee for himself—in exchange for a significant return on their investment once the clients take their last breath.
The stakes get higher when Waverly brokers the policy of the cancer-stricken wife of Lawrence Erickson, a high-powered lawyer who’s bucking to become the next U.S. Attorney General. When Waverly’s clients start dying sooner than they should, both Waverly and Erickson—who has some skeletons of his own to hide—are unwittingly drawn into a perilous web of greed, blackmail and murder.
Soon, a determined federal prosecutor is hot on Waverly’s trail. But when the prosecutor’s own life begins to unravel, she finds herself on the run—with Waverly at her side.
Interview with Kathleen Crawley, author of “Colonel Trash Truck”
Join Kathleen Crawley, author of the children’s picture book, Colonel Trash Truck (Big Tent Books, April 2009), as she virtually tours the blogosphere in November on her first virtual book tour with Pump Up Your Book Promotion!
Kathleen Crawley has been an advertising executive for over fifteen years. She resides with her husband Ronald Thomson in Redondo Beach, California. She is a native Californian having graduated from UCLA with a B.A in sociology. Colonel Trash Truck is her first book. About writing for children, Kathy says, “I have a number of books I want to write for kids because I think children are fascinating. They are open, creative, and interested in everything; they bring out the kid in me.”
You can visit Kathleen online at www.coloneltrashtruck.com
What was the one possession you had that you were miserable without?
• My giant Snoopy stuffed animal. I was very afraid of monsters at night and slept with him on the outside of my bed so that he would bite someone before they could get to me. He was my trusted friend.
What cartoon did you love to watch?
• Charlie Brown but couldn’t wait until the Snoopy scenes. He was my hero.
What do you miss most about being a kid?
• More time to imagine, play and be someone else when I wanted to.
What was your least favorite age? Why?
• Puberty was a big drag – pimples, awkward, totally uncomfortable and afraid of boys.
What did you always want to be able to do, but were too young?
• Drive a car…I couldn’t wait. I have 7 brothers and 1 sister and couldn’t wait to go where I wanted.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
• A movie star or a rock star…I loved being on stage.
Did you have any pets? If so, what did you have?
• Shane, my beloved German Shepherd; he was such a protector.
Do you have siblings? Did they influence who you are today?
• I have 7 brothers and sisters who are the funniest people on the planet. 3 graduated class clown and 2 came in second. While I can be pretty funny at times, I can compare to most of them.
What was your favorite class in school?
• English – I loved hearing stories and my imagination would run wild.
Who was your hero and why?
• My dad; he always told me I could do anything.
What games did you enjoy playing in your spare time? Would you still play them today?
• We always made up stories and acted them out, and yes, I still do that today but more often alone.
Did you have a curfew? What was it, and did you break it?
• In high school, I was supposed to be in by midnight but my younger brother could stay out later which made me furious. I often came home just a bit late and yes, I did get in trouble.
What was your parent’s punishment of choice?
• As a young kid, we were sent to our room which, in a big family with so much going on, was upsetting because I didn’t want to miss anything. After a while though, I had no problem because I could entertain myself for hours with my imagination.
What is your favorite memory?
• Singing in the school Christmas play in first grade. I had a solo for the first verse of “Oh come all ye faithful” and my mom thought no one would hear me because I was shy. When it came time for me to sing, I yelled it from the top of my lungs and was the hit of the evening.
What do you wish you could have changed about your childhood (if anything)?
• Less chaos and more individual time with my parents. It is impossible to give kids all that they need but even harder when there are so many. They did their best and they were great people but we needed more attention.
Kids love trucks and are most familiar with the truck that visits their house every week – the garbage truck. So, there is no better way to teach them to respect the environment than to introduce them to Colonel Trash Truck - a likable, fun-loving hero who is extremely focused about his mission to win the garbage war. He sees the world and nature as a beautiful gift that we all need to appreciate and protect. Colonel Trash Truck believes cleaning up trash and recycling is something we all must do and he wants nothing more than to have kids join him in his quest. Now’s the time to become a member of his Clean and Green Team! KARUNCH!
“From street to street, he sweeps and sweeps to keep our neighborhood clean. From dawn to dusk, clean up he must to make our world stay green.”
Reviews
“An excellent storybook to help get young people (especially young truck lovers!) enthusiastic about recycling and keeping America beautiful, highly recommended.” — Midwest Book Reviews
Join Garasamo Maccagnone, author of the expanded and newly illustrated version of his fiction book, For the Love of St. Nick (BookSurge, March 2009), as he virtually tours the blogosphere in November on his second virtual book tour with Pump Up Your Book Promotion!
Garasamo Maccagnone studied creative writing and literature under noted American writers Sam Astrachan and Stuart Dybek at Wayne State University and Western Michigan University. A college baseball player as well, Maccagnone met his wife Vicki as a junior at WMU. The following year, after injuring his throwing arm, Maccagnone left school and his baseball ambitions to marry Vicki. After a two year stint at both W.B. Doner and BBDO advertising agencies, Maccagnone left the industry to apply his knowledge of marketing in a new venture in an up-and-coming industry. Maccagnone created a company called, “Crate and Fly,” and turned it from a store front in 1984 to a world-wide multi-million dollar shipping corporation by 1994.
In the mid 90’s Maccagnone decided to fulfill the promise of his writing career, by first penning the children’s book, The Suburban Dragon and then following up with a collection of short stories and poetry entitled, The Affliction of Dreams. His literary novel, St. John of the Midfield was published in 2007, followed by his For the Love of St. Nick, which was released in 2008. Maccagnone expanded the original version of For the Love of St. Nick and had the book illustrated for a new release in June 2009.
Garasamo “Gary” Maccagnone lives today in Shelby Township, Michigan, with his wife Vicki and three children. You can visit Gary online at www.garasamomaccagnone.com.
What was the one possession you had that you were miserable without?
My baseball glove.
What cartoon did you love to watch?
Felix the Cat. I learned to mimic all the voices of the characters.
What do you miss most about being a kid?
Jumping my neighbor’s fence and running across 13-mile rd. to buy a pack of baseball cards and a bottle of Red pop.
What was your least favorite age? Why?
I didn’t enjoy the beginning of ninth grade. Being so small, I was on the 4th string on the freshman football team. One year later, after considerable growth, I was the starting quarterback on the JV.
What did you always want to be able to do, but were too young?
To get into a car and drive off to anywhere I wanted to.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
Like most boys, I wanted to be a professional baseball player. I dreamed of playing the outfield for the Detroit Tigers. Once in High School, I dreamed of being a writer.
Did you have any pets? If so, what did you have?
As a boy, I had a dog named Tim. I wrote about him in a short story entitled, “My Dog Tim”. He was a mutt collie mix that ended up around seventy-five pounds. He was the perfect pet/companion for a boy.
Do you have siblings? Did they influence who you are today?
I have three brothers and one sister. We grew up in a tight knit Sicilian family environment, which I believe, led to our estrangement.
What was your favorite class in school?
Any reading, writing, or art class.
Who was your hero and why?
I always liked Babe Ruth. He was an extraordinary talent with a larger than life personality who always took the time to visit kids at playgrounds or hospitals. Though his life was conflicted, he spent an enormous amount of time helping charities and assisting the underprivileged.
What games did you enjoy playing in your spare time? Would you still play them today?
My father taught us how to play Pinochle. It was sort of the family game and you had to play it at his beckon call. Back then I enjoyed it but today, I’m not much of a card player.
Did you have a curfew? What was it, and did you break it?
When we were young growing up in the suburbs, curfew was when you heard your parents shout your name from the porch after the street lights went on. Once in high school, I needed to be home by 1 am on the weekends. I may have missed the curfew a few times as I may have been chasing girls.
What was your parents’ punishment of choice?
My parents made us write a lot. It of course, was tedious. I preferred a few punches from my father so my punishment was swift and over with.
What is your favorite memory?
I hit a walk off homerun in a little league game to win a championship. I was the hero of the day and got to be the first one to order in the ice cream line after the game.
What do you wish you could have changed about your childhood (if anything)?
I wouldn’t change anything. In fact, I would love to live it all over again.
Two California boys, coping with the loss of their mother, find themselves uprooted when their father, a Navy Commander, is transferred to a base in Northern Michigan. With the youngest boy continuously sick, the family must survive military life and the northern elements as they dwell in their little hunter’s cabin on Lake Huron. When the boys’ father must leave prior to Christmas to fulfill his secret mission for the United States Military, the boys are surprised by a chance encounter that saves a life, and reunites a family.
Typically, when Johnny wasn’t feeling well, I tried to lift his spirits by telling him stories about mom and dad. The commander, vigilant in his hope to preserve mother’s memory, told many of the tales to me. In our old home, I sat on his lap on many nights while he showed old photographs of their courtship days or read me letters mother had written when the two were briefly apart.
Johnny’s favorite story was about the little game mom and the commander played on me on Saturday mornings – the mornings I knew cartoons were on. Since the television sat up high on top of a dresser, they were the only two who could turn it on. To wake them, I stood at the end of their bed and tickled their feet with a wild turkey feather. When I tickled the commander’s big ugly calloused foot my mother laughed. When I tickled my mother’s smooth petite foot the commander laughed. Every time I told Johnny that story he smiled, even if he had a high temperature.
Before falling asleep, Johnny often asked me about our mother. One time, using my nickname, he said, “Tiger, tell me how purdy mommy was.”
Our favorite photograph of mother was placed on the fireplace mantel. We called it the “Big Rock Picture” since she was standing on a giant rock while taking a break from a hiking expedition in New England. From my viewpoint, Mother was looking directly into my soul. The autumn wind played with her long blonde hair and she was smiling, smiling like she was so sure of herself, so confident, so healthy and vibrant. It was a smile I kissed a thousand times during the tender moments of my dreams.
“See Johnny, see how pretty she was?” Johnny took the picture from me and kissed and held it to his chest.
“Mommy will protect me tonight,” he said to me. Then he added, “Love you Tiger.”
“I love you more ya big dope,” I retorted back.
“You think mommy got on that big rock with a hoptacopter?”
By the time I got around to explaining how mother ended up on the giant rock, Johnny was fast asleep.
Read the Reviews!
“The power of love and wonder of miracles are front and center in this delightful and heartwarming tale.” - Cafe of Dreams
“This is good ‘read aloud’ family time reading. The message of a child’s faith makes this a story that crosses denominational, ethnic, and cultural walls. This is must family reading for the Christmas season.” – Richard Blake’
Interview with Diana Rumjahn, author of “Charlie and Mama Kyna”
Join Diana Rumjahn, author of the children’s picture book, Charlie and Mama Kyna (Booksurge) , as she virtually tours the blogosphere in October and November on her first virtual book tour with Pump Up Your Book Promotion!
Diana Rumjahn received her bachelor’s degree in social science from San Francisco State University and has worked at the university for over the past two decades. She is currently an administrator at College of Creative Arts, where she received the “Star of the Month Award.” She wrote, directed, filmed, produced and edited the international award-winning film Going Home, which has been shown worldwide. Charlie and Mama Kyna is her first published book. You can visit Diana on the web at www.dianarumjahn.com.
What was the one possession you had that you were miserable without?
Stuffed animals
What cartoon did you love to watch?
Scooby Doo
What do you miss most about being a kid?
Not having responsibilities and not dealing with the real world. A lot of wonderful television shows, movies and media personalities were in our presence.
What did you always want to be able to do, but were too young?
I wanted to be on the set of Charlie’s Angels in 1976 and experience the magic.
What was your favorite class in school?
Senior, in high school.
Who was your hero and why?
I loved watching Chris Evert and Martina Navratilova play tennis and give interviews on television. It was very exciting to see them play. They were very mature and graceful celebrities.
What games did you enjoy playing in your spare time? Would you still play them today?
Monopoly. I would not play it now because it is too slow moving.
What is your favorite memory?
Spending my summers in Southern California.
What do you wish you could have changed about your childhood (if anything)?
I would like to change a lot with the following:
Participate in more volunteer activities.
Take care of animals.
Attend more artistic exhibits and events.
Take film classes and create films.
Purchase more souvenirs from Disneyland.
Not leave the French Quarters in Disneyland.
Learn to play the piano.
Attend and watch Chris Evert and Martina Navratilova play tennis live.
After Charlie the frog accidentally breaks his mother’s vase, he runs away from home. Charlie and his new best friends Leo and Joe, live in a little orange tent outside Mrs. Cupcake’s bakery. A homesick Charlie, Leo and Joe, journey far away to find Charlie’s mother. A delightful children’s picture book children of all ages will enjoy!
Here’s what reviewers have to say!
“This delightful book is geared for kids ages 3-8. Amber, my daughter who is 9, said it would be good for younger kids even though she found it a little boring. The book itself is a sweet story, but it felt disjointed at times. It touches on some good lessons, like forgiveness, true friendship and the importance of home. Little ones will love the bright, colorful pictures, too.”
–Carol’s Notebook (read the full review here)
“This is a sweet story that teaches several valuable lessons. It’s full of fun sound effects: drizzle, drop, snap, crackle, and burr… And the brightly-colored illustrations are endearing. Who doesn’t love stuffed animals and cupcakes? I would love to see the movie! Of course, empathetic Esmé loved the sad/happy/emotion-evoking factors of the story.”
–Mozi Esme (see full review by clicking here)
“Drizzle, drizzle, drizzle, drop, drop and drop – reading CHARLIE AND MAMA KYNA to your children will be as much fun for you as it will be for them listening to it. The adorable stuffed animals in this book learn a lesson about forgiveness, true friendship and the importance of a home sweet home. The perfect bedtime story.”
—TIGERPRESS Verlag GmbH
Hamburg, Germany
“…laudable messages of friendship, love and fortitude…” “…vivid, evocative word choice…”
— Kirkus Discoveries March 2009
“Charlie And Mama Kyna is charming and colorful entertainment, as well as a welcome and highly recommended addition to family, school, and community library picture book collections.”
—Midwest Book Review
Diana Rumjahn’s CHARLIE AND MAMA KYNA VIRTUAL BLOG TOUR ‘09 will officially begin on Oct. 5 and end on Nov. 27. You can visit Diana’s blog stops at www.virtualbooktours.wordpress.com during the months of October and November to find out more about this great book and talented author!
Interview with Michael Estepa, author of “Purged by Darkness”
Join Michael Estepa, author of the young adult crime fiction book, Purged By Darkness (Eloquent Books, June ‘09) , as he virtually tours the blogosphere in November and December on his first virtual book tour with Pump Up Your Book Promotion!
Michael self published and financed his book releasing it locally in 2004. For two years he went around talking to libraries, youth groups, his old high school and book clubs about his book, gangs, drugs, believing in yourself, the writing process etc. He even appeared in several local newspapers and on the local radio. “I enjoyed my talks with these kids and meeting new people because it allowed me to do my part in giving back to the community by helping and inspiring kids. I wrote Purged by Darkness as a vehicle to do just that and if my book is able to steer even just one youth away from the path I almost ventured into then I know everything I have been through is worth it!” said Michael.
While his book did find success locally with his old high school and a number of libraries purchasing his book, he felt there was so much more his book had to offer. So he sent his work to America and was fortunate in obtaining an American literary agency in 2006. “While they loved my work, my agent felt that my work needed to be worked on. At first, I was hesitant to change anything but then I realised, I can’t be stubborn as I only have one shot at the American reader to make an impression,” he said. After much time was spent rewriting, editing and searching for a publisher, Michael would be knocked back a total of 22 times over the course of two years by American publishers. “I definitely felt disheartened, I was even at a point where I wanted to give up and work on something else. The problem was, I believed in my manuscript too much to just give up. I honestly believed that my book would make a difference in the lives of young people or anyone for that matter,” said Michael. His patience and belief paid off as Michael finally got his break when his agent announced that they had a possible publisher interested in him. After liaising with the publisher, they offered him a contract. As of November, 2008 Michael’s manuscript Purged by Darkness will be officially published by Eloquent Books. His book won’t be released until later this year.
For more information on the book and author, please visit: www.MichaelEstepa.com
1) What was the one possession you had that you were miserable without?
I remember for about 3 years (age 3 – 6) my teddy bear and I were inseparable. I took my teddy bear everywhere with me. To the beach, the park, when I went to bed, everywhere. Then one day my mum told me that teddy was no longer going to be staying with us because another child my age needed the teddy more than I do. I was devastated and I cried for days. My parents bought me another teddy bear and even though the feeling wasn’t the same, I grew to love the new teddy bear. I found out many years later that my original teddy bear was thrown out because my dog got a hold of it and ripped it to shreds!!! Lucky for me, I was already a teenager and got over it rather quickly.
2) What cartoon did you love to watch?
There were several, and my favourites included Tom & Jerry, Duck Tales, Gummi Bears, Scooby Do, The Adventures of Tin Tin, Gargoyles, The Flinstones, Transformers, Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling, Where on Earth is Carmen San Diego, Dungeons & Dragons, G.I. Joe, Garfield, He Man and the Masters of the Universe, Spiderman, Smurfs, The Simpsons, X – Men, Ewoks, and Men In Black.
3) What do you miss most about being a kid?
First time and lack of responsibility. When you’re a kid everything is new and a first time experience. I remember my first trip to the beach, on a roller coaster etc and I miss the true excitement and feeling of it all. As a kid, responsibilities were at a minimal and you were often free to run amuck and just discover life. When you’re an adult, it’s a whole different story.
4) What was your least favorite age? Why?
My least favourite age would be 16 because that is when I decided I wanted to pursue a relationship with the opposite sex. It was hard and trying to figure out if you had ‘game’ (hahaha) and style to attract the opposite sex would either boost your self esteem or completely shatter it. I had mixed reviews (hahaha) so I wasn’t doing too badly.
5) What did you always want to be able to do, but were too young?
I actually had two. I have always been fascinated with pirate loot and lost treasure so the thought of being a treasure hunter always seemed appealing and exciting while I was growing up. The other was an archaeologist because of my love and fascination with dinosaurs, in particular the triceratops which is my favourite dinosaur.
6) What did you want to be when you grew up?
I was torn between being a teacher and being a nurse. I often saw how my teachers inspired me to work towards my full potential and a nurse because of the countless people they help. Nursing actually runs in my family. In the end, I chose nursing because at the end of the day I want to work in a profession where I am helping people, meeting different people every day and not stuck in an office.
7) Did you have any pets? If so, what did you have?
Yes, I do have pets. I have a loveable boxer and a cheeky maltese terrier. I have four birds and a lot of tropical fishes, which is my Dad’s thing.
Do you have siblings? Did they influence who you are today?
I have an older brother and an older sister. I am the youngest in the family. My older siblings have influenced me more than know and have contributed greatly towards the person I am today. They both taught me to never give up and to never let anyone stop me reaching my dreams! My sister – Yehlen Estepa actually designed the book cover for my book, Purged by Darkness.
9) What was your favorite class in school?
My favourite class in school would have to be English, Ancient/Modern History. English because of my love of writing, history because there is so much to learn from past events and what people have accomplished before you.
10) Who was your hero and why?
My heroes of the past include Jose Rizal, Chief Sitting Bull & Sir Robert Bruce because they all fought to give their people the one thing we all take for granted now, which is freedom. It’s amazing the adversities these people went through to achieve such goals.
11) What games did you enjoy playing in your spare time? Would you still play them today?
I’ve always been an active person, so I enjoyed sports like soccer, basketball, swimming and martial arts. The only sport that I have maintained until now is martial arts. I also enjoy playing video games, but I don’t do that as much these days.
12) Did you have a curfew? What was it, and did you break it?
My curfew varied, as I got older my curfew became later and later. No, I very rarely broke it and if I was running late I would call my parents to let them know.
13) What was your parents punishment of choice?
My parents never hit me because they don’t believe it hitting children as a form of punishment and neither do I. Punishments included loss of privileges and being grounded. Respect, honour and trust are very important in my family. If I lost any of those values, my parents would sit me down and tell me. Believe me, knowing I disappointed my parents was the worse punishment compared to anything else!
14) What is your favorite memory?
My favourite memories are all family gatherings around birthdays and especially around Christmas time. I don’t have a lot of relatives in Australia so when these gatherings would occur, I would cherish every moment of it.
15) What do you wish you could have changed about your childhood (if anything)?
Honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing. I had a great childhood.
Before this interview ends, I would like to take this opportunity to thank In My Youth for taking the time out to interview me and I would also like to inform all the viewers about the book was just published. If you want a book that excites as well as thrills, has non – stop action, heartfelt moments, a clear message at the end of the story, enough romance to warm your heart and is reader friendly, then Purged by Darkness is the book for you! Regardless of your age or reading skill, you will not be disappointed!
Feel free to check out my official website: www.MichaelEstepa.com for further information about me and my book.
Purged by Darkness revolves around six friends in Melbourne, Australia, and their journey inside the organised crime syndicate known as the Triads.
In the gang lifestyle, honor and absolute loyalty is demanded of all members, while fear, death and betrayal often follow. The group’s friendship endures as the six try to define their lives interwoven with their life of crime. In their world, no one ever wins and everyone involved finds it too difficult to ever get out. To them, the city represents violence and the countryside, peace.
In this strange existence, love and loyalty among the friends flourish because they can only depend on each other. But friendship is pushed beyond all normal limits, as danger waits at every turn.
What is it like to live in a world of death and violence? Is every moment cherished because it could be the last? Finally, what does it take to survive life in the mob?
Just minutes after entering the club, I found him. Towards the back tables above the steps was Freddy Zyu. I had never met him before nor had I ever spoken to him. This was the first time I would ever see him and it would be the last. Remembering the folder and the photo of this man back at Mr Wong’s conference room three weeks ago, I realised he looked every bit like he did in the photo. His men also had looked very familiar, almost as if I had seen them every day of my life. During the short time we were there, their faces were something I refused to forget. Their very detailed features I would force myself to memorise and remember when the time came. Watching this branch leader sit back and enjoy himself while my friend was dead, sickened me. I felt my blood rush and my emotions take over. Control yourself, Kai. Don’t let your anger take over. You’ve got a job to do, I said to myself. I wanted to kill this bastard right there and then, but the time to strike just wasn’t right.
Looking around, I could see that Philip and Ricky were within my line of sight. Finally making eye contact with both of them, I gave them the signal as to where our target was. Giving another signal, I made sure they watched the area in which our target was situated. Even though visibility was not clear, I saw when I showed my friends where the target was situated, their faces become lifeless and still and I felt their hearts stop. There was a look of terror and rage filling their eyes. It killed them to see that branch leader having a good time, laughing and drinking while our friend was dead. They wanted him dead and they would even die trying if they had to. I wanted that too, but the timing still wasn’t right. Several times I had to get their attention to stop them from making a move.
With our target staying put, we waited patiently for over forty minutes, even mingling with the crowd, watching and waiting for our chance to strike. We couldn’t strike just yet since he had a handful of women with him. It was my understanding that no matter what, under no circumstances was I or any of my men going to kill anyone, especially women, not involved in the hit. It had never been my practice nor was it something I condoned, to hurt or kill innocent people not involved in the underworld. I would wait as long as I had to.
With my men and myself growing very impatient, the opportunity finally came when all the women they were with got up and walked in the direction of the bathroom. Giving Ricky, Philip and Joseph the nod, we began putting our silencers on. Walking slowly towards them, I began counting in my head, taking a deep breath each time as I did so. One… Two… Three… Four… Five… Six… Seven… I said to myself. There were seven of his men with this branch leader. With Philip and Ricky coming from the left and Joseph and me coming from the right, we knew we could easily take them out without question.
Finally within range and with the darkness of the club still in our favour, we opened fire. It was quick and instant. For a moment I even felt pity, simply because it wasn’t honourable to kill an enemy when he cannot see you or is not ready. Then I thought, Who cares? No gangsters are honourable these days.
Michael Estepa’s PURGED BY DARKNESS VIRTUAL BLOG TOUR ‘09 will officially begin on Nov. 2 and end on Dec. 16. You can visit Michael’s blog stops at www.virtualbooktours.wordpress.com during the months of November and December to find out more about this great book and talented author!
If you would like to host Michael, contact me.
Interview with Carol Zelaya, author of “Emily Waits for Her Family”
Carol Zelaya lives and writes in the Portland, OR area. She has written Emily’s story in hope of educating children about nature’s precious gifts that are all around us when we take the time to notice.
Zelaya is touring the Pacific Northwest in 2008 and is donating signed copies of her book to several low-income neighborhood schools and libraries to share her love of reading and nature.
You can visit Carol online at http://emilythechickadee.com/about-carol.html
Interview:
What was the one possession you had that you were miserable without?
A radio
What cartoon did you love to watch?
Anything Disney
What do you miss most about being a kid?
Playing outside until it got dark
What was your least favorite age? Why?
Second grade because when I see pictures of myself, I was much taller than the other kids and didn’t like how I looked (alas the beginning of my chubbiness).
What did you always want to be able to do, but were too young?
Go away to college…leave home.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
A mother and a registered nurse
Did you have any pets? If so, what did you have?
Dogs, cats, parakeets, turtle, ducks and even monkeys.
Do you have siblings? Did they influence who you are today?
Two younger siblings…a sister and a brother. I would have to say, being the oldest, I always felt I should be the one they could look up to, the responsible older sister with the answers.
What was your favorite class in school?
English literature
Who was your hero and why?
My dad because he was strong and larger than life to me.
What games did you enjoy playing in your spare time? Would you still play them today?
Cards, board games and yes I would still play them today. Hopscotch was fun then, but I wouldn’t play it now.
Did you have a curfew? What was it, and did you break it? Probably 11pm on a weekend after age 16…you never would dare to come home late!
What was your parents’ punishment of choice?
Grounding me from going out.
What is your favorite memory?
My father taking us ice skating or sledding in the winter.
What do you wish you could have changed about your childhood (if anything)?
I wish we did more things together as a family.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Carol Zelaya is a former nurse, recently widowed, and mother of two grown children. She grew up in the Chicago area, where she eventually met and married her husband and where they raised a family. Having relocated to Oregon in 1996, Zelaya began her love affair with nature and its beautiful creatures. Inspired by her surroundings, she started taking pictures and writing. Writing poetry led to writing three children’s books, of course, in rhyme. Zelaya’s Emily the Chickadee books are the true story of the special bond between a tiny bird and a little girl and the true meaning of family.
Carol is now moving to the San Diego area to be near her children. You can visit her online at http://www.emilythechickadee.com/.
ABOUT THE BOOK:
Read Emily Waits for Her Family and follow the true story of the special bond between a tiny bird and a little girl, from first meeting to leaving, from new life to old friends. This story is told in a timeless, three-part series, with an easy-reading rhyme, and is certain to delight and touch your heart.
Interview with Joy DeKok, author of “Rain Dance”
Join Joy DeKok, author of the contemporary women’s novel, Rain Dance (Sheaf House, August ‘09), as she virtually tours the blogosphere in October on her first virtual book tour with Pump Up Your Book Promotion!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Joy DeKok and her husband, Jon, live in Minnesota on thirty-five acres of woods and fields. Joy has been writing most of her life and as a popular speaker shares her heart and passion for God with women. In addition to writing novels, she has also published a devotional and several children’s books.
Visit Joy online at: http://www.joydekok.com/, and http://www.gettingitwrite.net/.
What was the one possession you had that you were miserable without?
Books. I loved my books and wanted them with me all the time.
What cartoon did you love to watch?
Lots of them. I liked the Flintstones, Yogi Bear, and Johnny Quest best.
What do you miss most about being a kid?
Letting Mom & Dad make all the hard decisions. And, being tucked in at night. Mom would read to us, listen to our prayers, tug the covers up to our chins, kiss us, and shut off the light. Sometimes she let us listen to story records until we fell asleep – we loved it when that happened. No matter how naughty I’d been or how much work I’d caused her, at the end of the day, those troubles were past us. A new day was on its way after a good night’s sleep.
What was your least favorite age? Why?
Eighth grade. I chose to be difficult every chance I got. I tested boundaries and the patience of my parents and teachers. I wanted to be all grown up and cool. Instead I felt ugly, dumb, and angry. No matter how much good I heard about myself I believed the opposite.
What did you always want to be able to do, but were too young?
Get married. It was my very first goal – I set it when I was three. I can remember the moment and exactly where I was. Every boy after that day became potential husband material.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
A wife, a mom, and a writer.
Did you have any pets? If so, what did you have?
We got a puppy we named Pal when I was around 5 years old. He was my best friend. We adopted his son into the family after Pal and Daisy met each other. We watched amazed as she delivered the pups. Her first born wasn’t breathing. The adults decided to let her work it out. She gave birth to several more pups working on the first one’s lungs the whole time – she took only a break to make sure the others were breathing and she’d return to him. After awhile, he was the loudest and funniest baby in the bunch. He was also a little bit slow at first. We named him Ding-a-ling. He out grew his mental limitations and was my brother’s best bud.
Do you have siblings? Did they influence who you are today?
My brother is two years younger than I am. When Mom was pregnant they explained they would be bringing me home a baby. I took that literally. The first picture we have of me holding him shows my amazement. I fell totally in love with “my baby.” I love him deeply to this day. We don’t get a lot of time together, but he’s my friend, I trust him completely, and admire him. We can sit next to each other and words aren’t always needed – being together is enough. I still feel that same wonder when I look at him now almost 50 years later. When the Osmond Brothers sang, “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother” I believed I had found “our song.” I still feel that way. We’d carry each other through no matter what – if not literally, in prayer, support, and love.
What was your favorite class in school?
English.
Who was your hero and why?
My uncle Frank. He served in WW2 and sometimes he trusted me with stories he didn’t tell anyone else. He knew I’d love him no matter what. I did.
My dad was my other hero. I truly believed he could do anything. One day my best friend Annie and I had a fight. She told me her dad could beat mine up. We argued until her mom sent me home. When asked what we were fighting about I told my parents what Annie said. My dad said, “Well, he could.” Although her dad was taller and a basketball coach, I still believe my daddy who remains very strong in his 70s could beat her daddy any old day!
What games did you enjoy playing in your spare time? Would you still play them today?
Kick the Can with all the neighborhood kids. We’d gather in our front yard and wait for dusk the let the game begin. Yes, I’d still play it today. If I could get all those kids back together again – that would be fun.
Did you have a curfew? What was it, and did you break it?
I was usually home by 10PM – 11 at the latest. I worked and babysat as a teen and I needed my rest. Being home was easy for me so while these were suggested times, I was often home early.
What was your parents’ punishment of choice?
They grounded me. For a social butterfly like I was, this was the hardest of all things. No mall, no bike rides, no walks around the park to talk about boys, clothes, make up, God, and other girls. For a really bad punishment I would also be grounded from the phone. That was the worst.
What is your favorite memory?
Sitting in my grandpa’s lap. He was very sick my whole life and we spent a lot of quiet time in his chair. Well, he was quiet while I chattered to him about everything. He made me feel like every word I said was the most important thing he’d ever heard. On his really bad days, he’d rest in bed and I’d give him candy pills, listen to his heart with my pretend stethoscope, and then he’d tell me stories about when he was a little boy and my mom was a little girl. I loved every single minute with him. He’s been gone 41 years. I still miss him.
What do you wish you could have changed about your childhood (if anything)?
I would not have stolen candy from the Ranch Market! My dad made me take it back, but I tell you those big swirly suckers taste awful to me – so do Sweet Tarts. If guilt has a flavor it’s in them.
Jonica is infertile. Stacie chooses an abortion. One is prolife the other prochoice. Both are suddenly alone in misunderstanding, facing hypocrisies in their belief systems, and grieving – one the death of a dream and the other the death of her child. As their hearts break where in the world will they find healing and grace? Can shattered dreams be part of the plan?
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT RAIN DANCE!
“This book is a must read for all women. Although it is a fictional story the author has brilliantly captured the many issues that women struggle with and offers hope that can only be found in Jesus. She also shows how looking beyond our own circumstances can bring blessings into our lives and the lives of others. I’ve ministered to broken women for over twenty years and I’m thankful for resources like Rain Dance that will reach women who are hurting and give them hope.” – Sue Liljenberg, International Director, Healing Hearts Ministries International
“Rain Dance is truly a prodigious book…a must read.” – Ane Mulligan, Editor, Novel Journey
EXCERPT:
Chapter 1
Jonica
Life as I knew it ended.
In the waiting room I sat in the front row, hoping the chair next to me would remain empty. A year ago, when we first came to the clinic, hope ruled. The receptionists smiled and welcomed me with friendly small talk.
It didn’t bother me that the infertility department was in the same section of the clinic as OB/GYN. I loved watching new moms cradle their little ones wrapped in soft blankets, toddlers by their sides.
Once, while a woman nursed her fussy newborn daughter, I sat on the floor and played Hot Wheels with her three-year-old son. When the nurse called his mom, he grinned at me and said, “Tanks!” as we collected his cars from the floor and put them in his bag. He grabbed his mom’s outstretched hand, curling his fingers around two of hers. The reach pulled up his red Pooh T-shirt, and his little belly button peeked out. I yearned to feel my child’s hand hold fast to mine.
Painful tests, frequent invasive exams, nauseating drugs, terrible periods, and embarrassing questions became my reality.
The gals at the desk no longer chatted with me. Instead, they accepted my appointment card and directed me to sit down. The air filled with baby sounds and smells now made me sick. Bile burned my aching throat.
I clenched my jaws and begged the Almighty silently, Please don’t let anyone ask, “How far along are you?” I’m tired of telling women with swollen stomachs that I’m here for infertility testing.
I buried my nose in a magazine that Ben, my husband, had received in the mail and wanted me to read. As I browsed the first few pages, my mind wandered.
I’d made this appointment to tell Dr. Steele we no longer wanted medical intervention to help us conceive. It cost too much in every way. Our health insurance didn’t cover any of the testing, and we’d paid more than ten thousand dollars with no end in sight. Putting a dollar amount on the changes inside our marriage proved impossible. Our intimate life revolved around my temperature. Charts and a thermometer took the place of candles on the nightstand.
Each month when my flow started, our failure to conceive was once more confirmed. Every cramp slammed the truth home. No success again. Will you always betray me? I accused my body. I chastised myself: You keep messing up. I defended myself to my internal tormentor: It isn’t my fault.
Then the cycle started again with the silent hope . . . maybe next month . . . easing its way back into position.
I didn’t want to disappoint Dr. Steele. His raw passion for the work inspired respect and his stern demeanor intimidated me. I longed to be one of his success stories instead of admitting defeat. A high voltage man specializing in in vitro fertilization, he focused his energy on finding an answer. He didn’t consider quitting an option.
I lifted a silent cry to God. Infertility is harsh and relentless. Where are You in all of this?
I stiffened my spine and tried to swallow the lump in my throat. I ordered my tears to stay put. This wasn’t the time or the place.
I regretted not calling his assistant and leaving a message. Why did I have to see his furrowed brow and hear his certain criticism?
A still small voice said, “Do not be afraid, but speak, and do not keep silent; for I am with you.”
I knew the Voice but was in the mood to argue. I was so fragile and broken I was sure that nothing I said could possibly help anyone.
Pick someone else! My heart screamed.
He didn’t.
A couple of chairs down, two women talking interrupted my internal babbling. “This blotchy upholstery makes me dizzy. Of course, it could be the morning sickness.”
The other huffed as she pushed on her side. “This one won’t keep his foot out from under my ribs!”
When a nurse called the woman with the rib tickler, she stood up with a soft grunt and followed the nurse, one hand on her back, the other resting on the mound of unborn baby under her maternity top.
I had dressed in comfortable clothes for the appointment: jeans and my favorite soft pink sweatshirt. The loose fit sometimes hid my flat stomach. In this room I was an oddity—a true outsider.
In a flurry of color and energy, a woman stood in front of the chair next to me. Shiny, jaw-length, jet-black hair and jade green eyes sparkled in the clinic lights. Her flat stomach caught my attention and I wondered if she was like me.
“Hi! Is anyone sitting here?” she asked.
“No.”
She sat down and crossed her jeans-clad legs. Her purple silk blouse and short, clear-lacquered nails glistened. The scent of jasmine swirled by, then seemed to waft back to her as if unable to bear the separation.
She pushed her hair behind her ears, and dangly silver earrings twinkled. “I’m Stacie.”
“My name’s Jonica.”
“Pretty name.”
“Thanks.”
She pulled a book out of her bag and asked, “So, how far along are you?”
I gave my new answer, “I can’t have children.”
The statement sounded clipped and whiny, so I added, “We’ve been coming to the infertility clinic for months, but now I’m here to terminate medical intervention.” Instead of confident, the words sounded defensive.
“Can’t, but still want to, huh?”
“Yes. But not this way.”
She raised a sculpted eyebrow. “I’m here to terminate something too—a pregnancy.”
She rushed on. “I’m new in a local law practice. My goal is to be a partner one day, representing women and children damaged or wronged by men. A pregnancy right now could hold me back or even halt my advancement. I need to establish myself first. There’s time for a family later—much later. I’m glad we can choose if or when to complete a pregnancy.”
She took a deep breath and exhaled, then tightened her lips and turned to her book, flipping it open. The light danced off a silver-trimmed boot as her foot began to swing slightly.
Tingles of shock pricked my fingertips and toes. My lips went numb, and my throat constricted. I took a deep breath and looked down. Her offensive made me want to defend life, but I didn’t have the strength. I needed to conserve my energy for my meeting with Dr. Steele.
I turned a page in my magazine and stopped. Every muscle in my already stressed body tensed. The photo in front of me showed the tiny hand of an unborn baby resting on a surgeon’s finger. The doctor had performed corrective surgery in vitro when pre-natal tests confirmed spina bifida.
God, give me the courage to show this to Stacie.
The nurse stepped up to the microphone and called my name. I closed the magazine, offered it to Stacie and said, “I’m done with this. You might find it interesting.”
She looked up briefly, took the magazine, and tucked it into the outside pocket of her purse. “Thanks. Nice to meet you.”
“Same here.”
I followed the nurse down the hall, watching her waist-length auburn braid swish against her straight back and thinking I’d just lied. It wasn’t nice to meet Stacie. I could have lived my whole life never having heard her pro-abortion dissertation.
The nurse indicated the examination table. “Dr. Steele will be right in for your consultation. Just have a seat.”
While I waited for the doctor, my dread increased. Dr. Steele was confident we could conceive with a little help from a friend: him. Photographs and thank you letters lined the walls. Smiling parents held babies and celebrated birthday parties. Happy faces beamed from family pictures.
I remembered the questionnaires we had filled out about our health, motives, and ability to pay. The doctor invited us to add a page about anything we wanted. Ben and I wrote about our faith.
Dr. Steele read it and commented, “I feel much like a creator myself.”
Ben said, “We believe in only one Creator.”
Our physician shrugged and diverted our attention to the first test. He kept all conversations professional from then on despite the intimacy involved in our circumstances, even when disappointment moved me to tears in front of him. I guess that made it easier for all of us.
I gripped my damp, cold hands in my lap, while my thoughts tip-toed back to the woman in the waiting room. I decided it was time for a pity party.
How could this happen today of all days? I’m saying goodbye to a dream and she sits next to me? There’s nothing wrong with her goals. All the things she wants to do are good, but she is willingly sacrificing her baby on the altar of achievement. Does she think that because abortion is legal all women agree with her? Who was she trying to convince—herself or me? It’s not fair. Why can she conceive and I can’t?
Before I could battle the subject out further, the door swung open on silent hinges and Dr. Steele entered. His short, bristly gray hair stood straight up. Hazel eyes with amber flecks smiled from behind gold-framed glasses. His yellow smiley-face tie softened his starched shirt, creased trousers, and shiny shoes. A stethoscope hung around his neck.
“Hello, Jonica.”
We shook hands, and he sat in his desk chair.
“Where’s Ben?” he asked, as he slid a brochure on in vitro fertilization toward me.
His chair creaked when he leaned forward. “We can start anytime you’re ready.” He paused for a moment anticipating an affirmative answer.
A Godzilla-sized cramp squeezed my stomach.
I heard myself say, “Ben and I are done. Our insurance doesn’t cover the financial end of it, and the emotional costs are far too expensive. We don’t want to face the moral and ethical dilemmas that heroic medical methods involve.”
All my practice in front of the mirror at home hadn’t improved my verbal delivery here either.
He snapped his chair into the upright position. His eyes lit with a golden fire, and his lips drew a straight line across his face. He ran his hand through his hair, and let out a loud, slow breath.
“I can’t believe an educated and intelligent couple like you and Ben can’t see the future in medical science. Why let some outdated religious beliefs keep you from realizing your dreams?”
“God is the Creator of science. He knew you before your conception and gave you life as well as your incredible abilities as a doctor. He is the One who leads Ben and me in all areas of our lives. We’re uncomfortable with frozen sperm, harvested eggs, and test-tube babies. We don’t want to deal with three to six microscopic embryos—which we believe are human beings—inserted into my body and possibly losing them all. Each time we lost one, we’d grieve. We’ve decided to focus our love on the children already in our lives.”
“That’s quite a sermon.”
Suddenly short of breath, I couldn’t get a single word out. Cool air crossed over my tongue so I knew my mouth was open. The sensation caused a reflex action, and I pressed my lips shut.
“I’m sorry you feel this way. My confidence is in human abilities and science. Many Christian couples come to me for help and are grateful for our methods.” He flipped my file shut and continued, “What makes you superior to them?”
“We’re not better than anyone else—and if it works for others without guilt, I’m happy for them. It just isn’t right for us. I’m sorry I sounded so defensive. I hate it when I get that way. We made this a prayerful decision. I hoped you’d accept our choice. I didn’t want it to end this way.”
“This is goodbye then. I wish you the best in your life.” He rose to leave.
“Do you ever wonder if you’re wrong and God is real?” I asked, also standing.
He held the door open for me. “I don’t need to hear about your beliefs. I read your forms, and other Christians come here. I’ve heard it all before.”
I reached into my purse. “I’d like to give you a small gift as my thanks for your effort to help us.”
“Clinic policy doesn’t allow us to accept gifts from patients.”
“Maybe you’d like to borrow this book from me then.” I handed him The Case for Christ.
“This is a new one,” he muttered, glancing at the back cover.
“I know you’re disappointed and so are we. Please know we appreciate your knowledge and the time you spent with us. I’d love to be able to send you a photo of a little girl who looks like me or a little boy who looks like Ben celebrating a birthday or Christmas. Without divine intervention, that’s not going to happen.”
The lump in my throat warned me I was close to tears, but I managed to say, “Goodbye Dr. Steele.”
The golden flames in his eyes receded. “Good-bye.”
I watched him walk away. For all his gruffness and disbelief, I would miss him. He wanted to help us conceive and couldn’t. In a way, we’d both just lost. I walked down the hallway in the opposite direction. It was over.
When I returned to the waiting room, I heard the receptionist call, “Stacie Cutter.” Stacie got up and followed her out of my sight down the other hall.
I wanted to run and considered finding the stairs. Instead I paced while the elevator made a slow climb to my floor. A man on crutches and a woman in a wheelchair shared my descent and got off on different floors along the way down.
I dug the keys out of my purse while I speed walked to the parking ramp. Shaking, I missed the lock on my car door and the key scratched the paint.
I got into the car. Yanking on my seatbelt, I grabbed my payment stub from behind the visor. The tires squealed as I took the tight ramp corners a little faster than usual.
Hold on until you get home, I commanded my tears.
I paid the smiling man at the booth, then three red lights and two stop signs later pulled into our driveway. I ran up the sidewalk, unlocked the back door, and threw my purse on the counter.
I stood in the middle of the kitchen with both fists clenched so tightly that my fingernails gouged my palms. My mind registered the pain, and then I pressed harder.
I sobbed out loud, “Lord, I’m angry! Why us? We waited for intimacy until marriage. We did what You asked. We love children. We tithe, we pray, we go to church. We believe in You, and we always will. Please tell me why You give children to women who will throw them away. Father, I feel so empty!”
Only the ticking clock answered my cry.
God said no. Our dream died, and Ben would always come home to only me.
Interview with Scott Gale, author of “Your Family Consitution”
What was the one possession you had that you were miserable without?
My bike was my most important possession because it expanded my world. My friends and I used to ride all over the place. Without it, I don’t know what I would have done.
What cartoons did you love to watch?
Super Chicken and George of the Jungle.
What do you miss most about being a kid?
I miss the simplicity. Life is good when the most important thing you have to think about is “How am I going to entertain myself?”
What was your least favorite age? Why?
My least favorite age was 14. When I got to high school, I didn’t know how to act as the hormones started to set in. I wanted to be independent, but was painfully insecure.
What did you always want to be able to do, but were too young?
I wanted to be able to drive from about twelve. I always wanted to load up my friends and go to the beach, instead of taking a long bus ride.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
I always wanted to be a professional football player. Unfortunately, I did not inherit size or athleticism from my folks.
Did you have any pets? If so, what did you have?
I had a hamster that I named Benji. About a week after getting him, I found out it was her when she started having babies in the cage. So, I changed her name to Alice.
Did you have any siblings? Did they influence who you are today?
I had a little sister. We used to fight quite a bit. I suppose I am influenced by the way that I approach my boys. I understand that they are going to argue, but I always want to make sure that they maintain their bond with each other.
What was your favorite class in school?
Math. I was one of the geeks who enjoyed problem-solving.
Who was your hero and why?
My hero was Sam Malone from the show Cheers. He was a retired professional baseball player who was funny and got all the girls. At that age, that seemed important.
What games did you enjoy playing? Would you still play them today?
My favorite board game was Risk. I loved it because I could compete with several friends and have fun doing it for hours at a time. I have taught my boys to play it, although we rarely get all the way through a game since it takes so long.
Did you have a curfew? What was it, and did you break it?
I did have a curfew, but I don’t remember what it was. I was generally pretty good about getting back on time, as I would inevitably get in trouble if I didn’t.
What was your parents’ punishment of choice?
They used to send me to my room. I used to get so bored and stir-crazy, that I would try hard not to get sent back.
What is your favorite memory?
My favorite memory is our annual “Turkey Bowl” which has remarkably carried on through today. My friends and I would get together each Thanksgiving morning at the school fields and play football. We played tackle until people started getting hurt in our 20’s. Now we play flag.
What do you wish you could have changed about your childhood?
The only thing I would change is my perspective. Looking back, I spent a lot of time worrying about things that have absolutely no bearing on the way life unfolds.
Scott Gale is an author and instructor at University of California Irvine. His passion is helping families communicate and re-connect in spite of today’s hectic lifestyle and increased demands. Scott’s new book, “Your Family Constitution: A Modern Approach to Family Values and Household Structure,” inspires readers to increase togetherness and progressively improve by leveraging clarity, consistency and commitment.
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